Here We Go, Together.

Out of infinite longings rise finite deeds like weak fountains, falling back just in time and trembling. And yet, what otherwise remains silent, our happy energies—show themselves in these dancing tears. - Rainer Maria Rilke You know those moments when all you can do is cry? It comes almost instantaneously- you don’t even have a chance to think about it. It feels like everything inside of you swells up- and all that’s swollen decides to seep out through your eyeballs. And these are the tears that usually stream- they don’t gather, drip, or slip back inside. And sometimes, if it’s just perfect, you can feel each individual strand as it falls from your lid, traces along the side of your cheek and free falls from chin to chest. It is when the tears come like this, with no forceful desire for emotion, that I feel most human.   Daniel’s * eyes are often wet as he tells me of his latest health concern, loneliness of the death of a family member, or anxieties of living in a room w...

I made quick friends with David* at the Primavera Men’s Shelter. I talked with him for a long time during his first case management appointment in January. He had been in and out of our shelter before, but had spent most of his adult life on the streets of Tucson. He had been an alcoholic for so many years but was determined that this time would be different. Although shorter than I am, David preferred to refer to me as “little one” over Meredith. I would often see him on my way in to the shelter and we would waver furiously from the street saying “hey little one, I’ll see you at home!”             … It was 4 53 pm on a Wednesday- I was a bit late getting to the shelter. As I was biking down 6 th Ave, I heard, from the other side of the street “Heeyy, Little One!” I immediately knew who it was and pulled over my bike. I hadn’t seen him since he didn’t show up to the shelter a few weeks earlier. He (sort of) looked to make sure no c...

While in Ethiopia, my travel buddy Marybeth and I would try to list at least five things we were thankful for before going to sleep under our mosquito nets (and then we'd pray they wouldn't cave in on us). I've been trying to pick up this practice again, and it has really brought an attitude of gratitude back into my life here. I thought I would share some of these thanksgivings with you... - for a new friend who keeps me sane, and yet keeps me insane enough to keep asking questions so things may one day change - for beautiful Tucson sunsets - for farmers markets - for the old couple swing dancing at the bar last night - for 3 am cookies - for gchat - for so much laughter at dinner and joy being brought back into our wonderful community at 1229 - for piano music in the mail! - for my new nickname at the shelter: "salad girl" - for the new hole in our ceiling that "really opens up our living room" (thanks Ali) - for the physiology lessons duri...

"For this is Holy Ground..." She took off her shoes, for this is holy ground. Tonight we went to the memorial at UMC. There were some path type things among all the candles, flowers, posters, etc so that you could walk along and reflect/pray/think. I walked along the pavement part to see what was along the edge and as I approached the grassy section's pathway, I noticed my housemate's shoes on the outside portion. She left her shoes- she took them off. This roommate of mine- never ceases to amaze me. The way she uses her words and her actions so thoughtfully. The unique connection she can find with a moment or a place that is so obviously connected to her spirit. She moved through the labrynth of memorial with such intentionality. in her bare feet- her feet so connected with that holy ground that connects us all. This beautiful soul who reaches out to hug me and tell me "it's ok." Because she knows- she knows it will be. Because she remembers that no ma...

Last Saturday at a nearby grocery store a man came to a neighborhood meeting where Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was meeting with her constituents. He came with a gun. He fired, it killed, it wounded. And the world watched as the results unfolded. A friend and I waited in line for six hours to be able to get into the arena where President Obama was to speak at the memorial service. It was a powerful experience and I was honored to be a part of it. Even so, it was a hot day in Tucson, and we were not allowed to have food or drinks with us. Towards the end of the president’s speech, my stomach began to growl, and my eyes began to droop. I was looking at President Obama, right in front of me, and I couldn’t help but think, even for just a split second- I need this to finish up because I need food, and a bed … And once again, I am reminded of our humanity. Even the president of our country needs to satisfy those same basic needs that my body was reminding me of during his address. We al...

I ran into a man outside Primavera last night. He was not expecting me, I was not expecting him. He had several bags with him and I told him he could stay. But he wouldn't respond to anything I said, and just walked away quickly, even leaving a bag behind. I wrote this this morning while at work. (Pardon my lack of poetry skills, but it's the best expression of my experience I think). There are just so many that fall between the cracks. You once had a name. And someone who loved, brought you into this earth. When did they decide you had no worth? When did you decide not to respond? To stay alone On the stoop, In the corners. In the corners of our buildings In the corners of our eyes. Never in our eyes, Our pupils, our minds. So then we can tell you, Out the corners of our eyes, That you have no name, There’s no need to respond. So you can remain There in a corner. On the stoop You can stay Silent. Alone.  Peace my friends.

"Advent should admonish us to discover in each brother or sister that we greet, in each friend whose hand we shake, in each beggar who asks for bread, in each worker who wants to use the right to join a union, in each peasant who looks for work in the coffee groves, the face of Christ. Then it would not be possible to rob them, to cheat them, to deny them their rights. They are Christ, and whatever is done to them Christ will take as done to himself. This is what Advent is: Christ living among us." - Oscar Romero December 3, 1978