Assured Uncertainty

‘I don’t know--’ the phrase that continues to appear throughout my journal. I may ask a question prior to this response, or simply insert it into the middle of a run-on sentence. Upon looking through the past month’s entries, I first began to wonder ‘do I really know anything?’… And then it occurred to me that what may have seemed like sheer ignorance, could be better described as assured uncertainty. Quite an oxymoron, I know.
There are homeless individuals who have been coming to some of our emergency relief programs for over twenty years. These programs are supposed to help people move up a rung on the ladder. But are we doing something wrong, or is this a lifestyle they desire to continue?  I don’t know.
A man came the main office’s front door after-hours the other day and said, “Hey, I have a question. The sign says HIP- Homeless Intervention and Prevention. What exactly are you preventing?” I don’t know.
Jan Brewer is probably going to remain governor of Arizona. Why? I don’t know.
Histories of divisions, disagreements, and disputes seem to make up denominational make-ups. How does that become part of our kingdom-building pursuit? I don’t know.
And yet, I have come to learn, that it is when we are certain of one thing or another, unwilling to budge, that we are also unwilling to love. I have come to learn that it is because I don’t understand, that I have any reason at all to trust. So, I ask myself, am I certain of anything?
                For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the LOVE of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I am uncertain of how I best should love, but I am assured that it is what we have been called to do.
Peace
Ps- I had my first bike crash. And survived to write this blog. J

Comments

  1. MomOctober 11, 2010 at 9:09 PM

    WOW. You challenge me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your incredible insights! I love you! Mom

    ReplyDelete
  2. aliOctober 11, 2010 at 9:16 PM

    Dear Meredith, everytime I read your blag I am proud to be your roommate. You're grappling with real things, and doing so with a maturity that makes your laughing fits all the more awesome.
    love always,
    Ali

    ReplyDelete
  3. DadOctober 11, 2010 at 9:24 PM

    Beautifully written and typically honest. I remember reading the same Romans 8 passage to you in our home in Atlanta while we all cried as I tried to explain why I had submitted my resignation in a job I loved rather than follow a directive that violated my sense of conscience and my understanding of the values of the organization. The Apostle's words rang true then, just as they do for you now. LMG! Dad

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rembolds on the RoadOctober 21, 2010 at 7:08 PM

    Meredith -
    I just started really reading Romans this week - that is always one of my favorite passages.
    I love reading the blogs of all Luke's insta-brudders and sisters - gives us up here in the Northwest a much clearer feeling for what's happening down there. Continue to seek, continue to serve!
    Ginger

    ReplyDelete

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